I think one of the most challenging things to do is heal from a broken heart. It’s not like a cut or a scrape on the knee that will heal itself in time. Eventually it scabs up, the soreness starts to fade. You may have a scar, but the physical pain eventually goes away. It’s not as easy when you’re trying to heal things on the inside.
I remember when I finally listened to God and ended my relationship with my ex. The pain was real! I physically felt it. I cried all day, every day and only pulled it together at work or in front of friends and family. I remember to help me cope I wrote out a quote I saw on Pinterest and posted it up in my bathroom mirror. The Quote was by Brigitte Nicole and it said “One of the more courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul” In seeing that quote every morning and night it helpedme to realize I couldn’t live hurt anymore. I couldn’t keep pretending like I was all good and smiling when I really just wanted to, live on my couch, eat Amaretto Cherry ice cream and French fries from 5 Guys, all while watching P.S. Love You until my body ran out of tears to cry.
It’s so easy to allow yourself to stay numb, to push aside those feelings of hurt and pain rather than choosing to deal with the problem head on. How can you be the best brother, sister, friend, mother, father, or better half to someone else when you aren’t complete as an individual first? How can you truly give your best to others when we’re broken? We can’t, not until we mend our broken pieces and fill our holes with God first!
It may have been the end of a friendship, a disagreement with a coworker, the loss of a loved one, anger, fear or rejection that caused your hurt; whatever it may have been for you, the reality is, that we are emotional and vulnerable human beings that get our hearts broken and bruised. Psalm 34:18 says that, “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”. When you’ve lost hope or feel like the pain you have will never end, remember that whether you’re broken emotionally, physically or spiritually, God can restore, revive and rehabilitate you. He is the only one who can repair us back to full health.
As we go through our single season I think it’s especially important that we fully experience and complete the process of healing. You can’t progress and prepare for God’s best when you’re still attached to your past or looking back on what used to be. It’s just like driving a car. You have your front windshield, large in size, to allow us to fully see everything that is in front of us and where we are going. Then there’s the smaller rear-view mirror, it’s small in size for a reason. It allows us to take quick glances at what is behind us. However, it wasn’t designed for you to keep your focus on the rearview for too long, because if you did you would crash!! We have to look at life in the same way, especially our relationships. It’s ok to glance back at the past. It reminds you of where you used to be, the lesson learned and how far you’ve come. Just remember to keep focused on what God in placing in front of you right now! He’s given you an opportunity to start fresh and to keep moving towards a future aligned with His will.
It’s healthy to express emotions of grief, anger, sadness, loneliness, or whatever the feeling may be for you - it’s natural to experience those feelings. However, in order to heal, you can’t allow yourself to stay in those feelings; otherwise you just end up hurting yourself even more. That’s why healing is so important!
Psalm 147:3 says “He heals the brokenhearted, and binds up their wounds”. It’s in your broken moments where God uses you the most. Your broken heart changes you and God uses that opportunity to mold you into a stronger, better, version of yourself. Until you make the choice to heal, you’re just masking the pain with work, sex, alcohol, food, or meaningless relationships. Whatever the bandage may be for you, know that it is a temporary fix that will keep you chained to your past for as long as you allow.
So, today start the process towards getting well!
- Admit that you need God. Understand that you can’t do this alone, He is the only one who can fill those holes.
- Seek Him with your whole heart and He will put the broken pieces of you back together.
- Ask God for comfort and peace for those individuals He’s taken out of your life.
- Forgive the individual that hurt you. In forgiving others you’re not excusing their behavior, you’re just preventing their behavior from fatally damaging your heart.