The summer of 2013 was a summer of change for me. I had to prepare myself, because I knew the endless facebook and Instagram posts of couples out enjoying their summer together was getting ready to be blasted on my timeline. Blowing kisses to one another on paddle boats, taking usies at concerts, traveling to a white sandy beach sipping on their pina colodas – sounds amazing doesn’t it? Well for a newly single woman, I can’t say I was that excited for the summer. Of course, I was happy it was warm, I enjoyed hanging with my friends, but in the back of my mind I was scared. Not only was I scared to start over, but I was also scared to live. Seriously, I had been in a relationship so long I had to learn how to go to a movie by myself. Yes, I was that girl. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t lose myself in my relationship. However, after being in a relationship for nine years I did get comfortable in having someone there to always do things with, and when you’re friends aren’t as single as you, your options for hanging out get real small real quick. Therefore, I had two choices - find some new friends that were also unattached with lots of free time or learn how to do things by myself. I decided to challenge myself and do both.
I’m sure many of you have been paying attention to the trending news with Ayesha Curry’s comment a few months ago on modesty and more recently Devon Franklin coming to the defense of his wife, Meagan Good, after a woman rudely (in my opinion) made a comment in regards to her choice of clothing. To clarify, no - I don’t think that was the time or the place for that woman to address Meagan about her wardrobe. She missed a ripe opportunity to have a great conversation and better understand why Meagan chooses to wear what she does. Ultimately, they are two grown adults. She can dress how she wants to and if neither she nor her husband are convicted about it, then sometimes it’s best to just pray for people instead of inserting your two cents. Yes, I do believe Devon was right for standing up for his wife. Where Devon lost me was when he said, “She can wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus!”. I cringed a little when that came across his lips. My dude...really?! He may have meant every word that he said, but I hope in hindsight he realizes that his delivery there could have been better.
In my line of work I have watched a countless number of people wait until the very last minute before incorporating this step into their career exploration process, let alone their job search. Let my be frank with you, you can’t and you shouldn’t reach out to someone to ask for help when you’re in an immediate need. It’s not ideal to try and connect with someone only when you are looking for a new job or when you need assistance pushing a resume forward to land an interview. Don’t wait until you need to network, start networking now and realize that here is an art to professional networking!
I remember when I finally listened to God and ended my relationship with my ex. The pain was real! I physically felt it. I cried all day, every day and only pulled it together at work or in front of friends and family. I remember to help me cope I wrote out a quote I saw on Pinterest and posted it up in my bathroom mirror. The Quote was by Brigitte Nicole and it said “One of the more courageous decisions you’ll ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul” In seeing that quote every morning and night it helpedme to realize I couldn’t live hurt anymore. I couldn’t keep pretending like I was all good and smiling when I really just wanted to, live on my couch, eat Amaretto Cherry ice cream and French fries from 5 Guys, all while watching P.S. Love You until my body ran out of tears to cry.